Friday Flash Fiction – “Thirsty”

“Hey, Thirsty! You ready for another drink of water?”

I shook my head, too shy to speak, and scuffed my school shoes in the dirt. My folks had to go somewhere, and I was here with these neighbors who smiled and let me be. It was hot, and they kept gettin’ me glasses of water, and I had to be polite so I kept drinkin’ ’em.

They was nice and all, but I wanted to go home. I pushed my toes into the dirt and kicked up enough to start the swing going again. They didn’t even know my name.

This week’s Friday Flash is actually my memory of an afternoon I spent as a child. I don’t feel happy or sad about it today, but years later I visited this elderly couple and they still called me “Thirsty”. Apparently I don’t change much.

Be sure to read the other Fictioneers’ wordlings this week, and leave a hey-howdy in the comments below. Thanks!

Friday Fictioneers is an online group hosted by Madison Woods, who provides a photo prompt each Friday to get us started. Please check out the FaceBook and Twitter (@FridayFictioneers) sites for this wonderful group of writers!

14 thoughts on “Friday Flash Fiction – “Thirsty””

there are the tendrils of a much longer story here… nice and captivating

Makes me want to know so much more: where are parents, who are these kindly neighbors, doesn’t he/she need to pee, etc.
cheers
Lorelei
http://westcoastwriters.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-faucet-fancies.html

I love the confusion – they think she’s thirsty but she’s only drinking to be polite, so they think she’s thirsty. Very vivid.

http://worksbyclaire.wordpress.com/2012/07/26/short-story-bucket-of-ice/

Just being polite… this brought back some memories for me too. Nice one.

We were taught to respect our elders back in the day. Nice story, love the folksy voice. Not overstated but subtly there.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/snarl.html

I liked the way you told a story about real, strong feelings in an understated way and I agree that you did the folksy voice well.

Dear Karen,

There was a folksy quality to your MC’s voice. I found myself wondering about time and place and where this little girl was going to go to the bathroom and why no one knew her name. A nice slice of life for us to ponder.

Aloha,

Doug

A trip down memory lane nicely written. I am here and linked as well: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/fridayfictioneers-aqua-madness/

I’m wondering who these people are that she’s been left with and why? Great job! You surely left us hanging!

Suspense is gripping me. Did her parents leave her with real neighbors while they ran errands, or did they die? Or was she abducted? Or in a foster home?

http://ebooksscifi.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/kingdom-come-by-ilyan-kei-lavanway-for-madison-woods-friday-fictioneers-100-word-flash-fiction/

It’s funny what we remember, and how other people misinterpret the things we do as children. I think the fact that it actually happened to you has lent your story a vividness that readers definitely respond to.

Here’s mine:
http://glossarch.wordpress.com/2012/07/27/there-will-be-rain-friday-fictioneers/