The two passengers waited on the benches for a train that would never come. It had been over 70 years since they had begun the long wait, but for them it was only a few hours. Nobody saw them, and yet they were there, patient and resigned to the impersonal rules of the rail system.
“Did you hear that, Jeb? I think the whistle blew. It must be coming now.”
“No, Maggie. That’s just the wind through the tunnel.”
He grasped her hand and settled his gaze away from the defunct tracks, across the fields that were empty only in his memory.
Skylar Spring writes that flash fiction is “thinking like a camera lens – focus on a single moment or image in time.” Of course, having a great photo prompt helps in the process, but what life events stand out in the scrapbook of your mind? What could you write about in a minimum of words that would give readers a snapshot of the bigger story?
Leave a comment below, and link to your own flash fiction if possible.
Want more Flash Fiction? Visit these Friday Fictioneers for more 100-word heaven! (If you have a flash fiction piece to share, please leave a link in Comments!) You can also visit the originator of the photo prompts, Madison Woods, or follow the gang on Twitter – #FridayFictioneers.
Karen B. Nelson 
I like these two; they’re a charming old pair. Equally, I’m intrigued by the time irregularity.
But it doesn’t really look like a train station…
I like this – it made me think of a couple who are sharing eternity together and how they are adapting to today’s world.
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-friday-fiction-2/
Very surreal, are they perhaps not human? I love time stream anomalies in stories and you did a great job bringing it out in 100 words. Thanks.
Her’e’s mine: http://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/04/fridayfictioneers-nightmare-tunnel.html
I could see a picture of these folks. I heard their voices, saw their expressions, and saw the absence of time…well written…
Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1aAEA-tz
A likeable, if sad pair of ghosts from the past. Hauntingly portrayed. Nicely done.
http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/a-place-to-die-for-friday-fictioneers-13-april-2012/
This reminds me of Waiting for Godot. But I do like the couple, ageless, and yet devoted to each other, oblivous to all, except their long wait.
Here is mine: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-fiction-story-eloped/
A dash across the lawn
On a sun-kissed morn
Its shimmer so silver
The radiance evokes my fever
A dash across to the bridge
On feet of gossamer wings
My flight in my haste
To my love and fate
In flight across the bridge
Yearning for my love
He waits amongst the lilies
Ready my body to devour
Kiss me, my lips so fresh
Like dew on the earth
Needing to feel your breath
Caressing me in mirth
Under the tunnel we meet
We kiss, we feel, on heat
We dance, a naked dance
Free, cries my heart.
I am so sory, I must have done something wrong above. Please, edit and delete the poem, leaving only the link to my blog. My sincere apologies.
Wonderful snapshot into the enigma that is aging.
Here’s mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/13/friday-fictioneers-3/
Nice timeless tale, Karen. I really enjoyed the simplicity of their patience. Nicely done. 🙂
Here’s mine, a little faster paced 😉 :
http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/04/running-100words-for-fridayfictioneers.html
Siobhan
Interesting take on the prompt. This is the most original piece I’ve read so far today. Here’s mine: http://furiousfictions.com.
I enjoyed this piece,very original. I keep thinking about them being ghosts, but I’m also thinking about it being a comment on aging and Alzheimer’s and passing of time. Here’s mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/13/the-incident/
Dear Karen,
One reading is not enough. I will visit again to glean what I can from your story. If they can wait 70 years, I can take my time with their story. Ghosts don’t spring to mind and the answer to the enigma of their existence and awareness eludes me. patience, Douglas. I’ll be back. Lovely tone throughout and, as always, I appreciate the asides about flash fiction. I still apply the K.B. Nelson litmus test to all of my flash.
Aloha,
Doug
http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/bermuda-triangle-summer/
I love how you make this piece so warm, when it could tell the same story in a much more bleak tone. Nicely done.
I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/friday-fiction-the-tunnel/
This was very interesting. When I first read it, I thought they were ghosts. Then I read it again an thought that they were people remembering the past. Very intriguing and great job!
A bittersweet little story, Karen. Even though at first I felt sorry for them, it seems that they’re satisfied, so it didn’t feel so sad when I finished. Thanks for the share 🙂
I love this story…love these characters. I don’t see them as ghosts at all, nor do I feel sorry for them. In fact, they remind me of the sweet, blissful, old (still devoted) couples I see every day in NYC. Re. your couple.,.during their prime, there were actual train tracks in tunnels…so its not a mystery that in their diminished minds this is what they are waiting and listening for. Here’s mine:
http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
I love this. Kinda sad, though.
Mine: http://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/04/nightmare.html
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