They had watched the glow from beyond the hills all night, desperation winking at them with each new blaze that framed the remaining trees. Their former lives curled into the smoke that mixed and churned the sky; a supernova brilliance that swallowed all they had known.
They shuddered on the brink, the earth dropping away behind their backs into a chasm with no crossing.
Each one wondered which would reach them first – the fire, or the dawn.
_____________
Writer Pamelyn Casto states, “The writing and reading of flash fiction is presently a worldwide phenomenon. It is rapidly increasing in popularity in the United States and Canada where it is offered in more and more fine literary journals. Further, translations are pouring in to English speaking journals from all around the world. In Latin America, where such work has a long tradition, it continues to thrive. It is also flourishing in China where it appears in magazines, journals, and daily newspapers. In Italy it is enjoying renewed life under the influence of futurism and prose poetry. I find it especially exciting that in Cyprus it comes in just behind poetry as the predominant mode of published literary writing.”
Want more Flash Fiction? Visit these Friday Fictioneers for more 100-word heaven! (If you have a flash fiction piece to share, please leave a link in Comments!) You can also visit the originator of the photo prompts, Madison Woods, or follow the gang on Twitter – #FridayFictioneers.
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Oh Karen!
You’re a cruel author (and I love it.) No solace for your nameless characters. Only the unanswered question at the end. Very, very haunting piece.
Aloha,
Doug
Beautiful description, you have a way with words that takes the reader right into the feeling. It is as real as if you had experienced it yourself. Well done!
Beautiful writing. I loved this. Thanks for sharing it.
You project a real feeling of doom, using beautiful words, making it a very interesting piece of writing.
Here’s mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/
Wonderfully descriptive story with a cliffhanger of an ending! I was with it the whole way! Great writing!
Intense story, Karen. Are they vampires to fear the dawn? I liked the fear gripping the characters and even if dawn did bring comfort, the fire still chases them. Well done. 🙂
Ack! That’s a damn good question. …I…I ….I don’t have any words expressive enough to describe what I feel. So many thoughts on this! Nice!
🙂
Here’s mine:
http://eliseschapira.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/slow-burn-slow-down/
Palpable tension.
I love the sentence that begins: “They shuddered on the brink, the earth dropping away…”
http://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/02/fridayfictioneers-the-end-of-the-day.html
I liked it, though the ending left me curious. My first thought of the earth dropping away was some kind of planetary devastation, but with the last line, it seems like maybe they’re trapped against a cliff and the dawn will give them the light to find their way to safety?
My first thought was of a nuclear explosion, then I read on and wondered if perhaps Yellowstone had finally reached critical mass. I’m not convinced it’s either of those options, though. And I get the distinct impression that whatever this event is, it’s a drawn out process, giving the unseen protagonists plenty of time to ponder their fates. A terrifying prospect.
Here’s my entry:
http://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/circular-logic-100-word-flash-fiction/
Okay, no one else has mentioned what it sounded like to me. I thought it sounded orgasmic and that they were lovers who didn’t want to see the dawn come. Beautiful, however you meant it and I loved it.
I especially liked the line: “Their former lives curled into the smoke that mixed and churned the sky”
Nicely written.
Here’s mine: http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-8P
Absolutely loved the last line of the first paragraph. New lives are always so difficult–nice stakes. Robin
Either way I am left thinking that their life as they knew it is now over….Beautiful prose and description. Well done!
I love how this build up to that closing statement that keeps the reader just as suspended as the smoke.
Here’s my story: http://wp.me/p24aJS-2l
I love the questioning ending. And which would they rather reach them first? It is such a personal answer.
Well done!
The links to my drabbles are here: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/ellipsis/
http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/02/03/within-the-inglenook/
Wow. That sentence with “shuddering on the brink” is just beautiful. I had a busy weekend that prevented me from getting around to the stories as soon as I would have liked, but I’m glad I finally made it.
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